To my beloved, from Rin
by Demented Insane Spirit
Summary: Rin reflects on her feeling for her Lord Sesshomaru, knowing that nothing can be as she wishes it to be. Short Oneshot


_Title: To my beloved, from Rin_

_Rating: K+_

_Genre: Drama/Romance_

_Summary: Rin reflects on her feeling for her Lord Sesshomaru, knowing that nothing can be as she wishes it to be. Short One-shot_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha_

_Notes/Warnings: Well, I know I've been doing many of these, but I can't help it, so don't blame it on me! Blame it on my burst of inspiration! So, anyway, this isn't Sesshomaru/Rin – not really. You'll see why when you read it._

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_To my beloved, from Rin_

(Note: This is Rin's POV)

The day was bright today. It made me feel warm and happy inside as I skipped ahead of Lord Sesshomaru, who lingered behind him. I could feel his gaze piercing my back and knew that he was keeping a close watch on me. I wondered if I ran more than a few feet ahead if he would admonish me. I wouldn't want to, anyway. I'll be honest with you, Mind of Me. I have known for some time that I love my Lord Sesshomaru. I, of course, would not admit it to anyone, not even Jaken. I don't think that I will ever tell Lord Sesshomaru, either. Anyone who laid eyes on him – especially females – would confess to themselves that he is beautiful, dashing. Even is my Lord Sesshomaru is cold and reprimands me – or tells me to shut up when I talk to much – it simply made me grow ever fonder of him. Jaken, I felt, might love Lord Sesshomaru, too. It was only a hunch, yes, but I felt that Jaken's undying loyalty might be more than it seemed. Perhaps Lord Sesshomaru – perhaps not.

I paused at the fork in the road, turning to Lord Sesshomaru with a broad smile. My smile didn't completely meet my eyes and his gaze lingered on my face only for a moment, before his eyes flickered to the right, where Jaken went ahead with Ah-Un, taking the hint. I hesitated, my smile fixed in place, before running ahead of them. I grinned to myself, and then heard a stern call from my lord, "Rin. Stay behind Jaken." I knew that could be translated as: "Stay where I can see you." I turned back and did as told, swinging my arms merrily as I strolled behind Jaken.

Lord Sesshomaru probably thought I was being a child and I didn't want him to think of me that way. Many times, I knew, I had caused him to be irritated with me and I never really meant to. It was a ridiculous question, I know that, but why was it I that always got abducted by demons and such? Why not Jaken? And, more importantly, if it were Jaken that got kidnapped, would my lord come to his rescue as hastily as he did mine? I admit I feel a tinge of jealousy because, often, Lord Sesshomaru pays Master Jaken more attention than my own self. It was irritating at times, but I learned to keep silent and not voice my agitation. Though, Lord Sesshomaru saw much and probably knew that I was jealous of Jaken.

I wonder, though, if perhaps my lord knows that I love him? If so, why has he not said anything yet? Lord Sesshomaru is so reserved about his feelings for others! I always feel as though I am playing a guessing game with him and I must guess whether he is pleased with me, angry with me (though his anger and petulance is normally more obvious,) or if he is disappointed. Many times I have wished that Jaken would go on some mission so that Lord Sesshomaru and I could be alone – together, too. As a wave of sudden realization washed over me, I thought to myself what a pointless thought it was. How naïve of me! Lord Sesshomaru would never allow himself to be alone with me! He always leaves me with Jaken or Ah-Un. I often have wondered why that is. I even think that he distances me from him on purpose. Did he foresee these sudden, painful emotions for him? If so, I wish he had told me much sooner...

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That night, as I rested on Ah-Un, we continued our trail without halting. Jaken was holding the two-headed creature by his ropes, looking weary. Lord Sesshomaru was walking beside Ah-Un, behind Jaken, who was, ironically, leading. Jaken was as inferior as me – or I hoped so, at least. I knew, however, that I was more inferior because I was a female, young, and had not served Lord Sesshomaru as long as Jaken had. In fact, I hardly really served my lord at all. I just wanted someone to protect me. It was the truth. At least I admitted it.

"Master Jaken looked tired, Lord Sesshomaru," I commented, coming to the aid of the imp. He _did_ look quite weary. I wondered how long he could go on.

"Mm." That was the response he gave time after time. "Stop here to rest, Jaken," he ordered him. The imp looked very grateful. I knew that Jaken didn't really like me even though I often helped him. It didn't matter to me, either way. I wanted to impress Lord Sesshomaru and make me love me, if he didn't already. I hopped of Ah-Un and jogged after Jaken, going to a tree and plopping down promptly, beaming at both Master Jaken and Lord Sesshomaru. After awhile, Jaken had fallen asleep, but I was still wide awake, despite my exhaustion. I was staring straight up at the leaves of the tree I was under. Lord Sesshomaru was sitting behind me, leaning against the tree. I wondered mildly whether he was awake still. Certainly demons became tired as well? "Rin. Sleep." I blinked.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" I crawled over to him and felt my heart attempt to shatter my ribs with it's throttling beat. I had been considering whether or not to admit to Lord Sesshomaru my feelings or not. It seemed almost meaningless, on account of the fact that he might send me away. "What is...smitten?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. The mother of Jinenji had asked me if I were smitten with a demon when I went to get herbs for Master Jaken.

"...What foolish question is that?" He asked, not entirely unkindly.

"Well..." My face was burning with embarrassment and shyness. "I think, my lord, that I am smitten with _you_." I was blunt and even though I was staring at him through the corner of my eye, I could not tell what his reaction was. Anxiety was sneaking upon me and I wanted desperately to know whether he felt the same. I sincerely hoped he did.

"Smitten?" He repeated after the longest pause in history – at least, to me. "With someone much older than you? And with a demon, no less?" He gave a slight snort and I bowed my head, almost feeling darts being thrown into my heart with every word he spoke from his deep, cool voice. "You are hardly a decade (ten years) old, Rin." His eyes went to my face and I attempted a small smile. I knew he could see the tears in my eyes, but he made no move to comfort me. I saw my reflection in his amber eyes and saw how very young and pathetic I appeared. "You are a daughter to me. Nothing more. Be lucky I have called a mortal like you even _that_, Rin." I could only nod mutely. "Now sleep." I obeyed, moving back to my place on the other side of the tree. I brought my knees to my chest, my arms around them. I buried my face in my arms, feeling tears stream down my face in rivers. I should have known that it was only fatherly concern he felt for me. As a child, I knew no better. Oh, Lord Sesshomaru, I am so sorry for assuming something much larger, much more intimate. Now that I knew the truth, I decided to end my infatuations with my Lord Sesshomaru. It would be a challenge, but when I thought it over, if I continued to think of him in such a way, it would almost be incest. I smiled to myself through my tears and raised my head, wiping my face and gave a sigh. Yes, I could do it. Lord Sesshomaru had, just like a father, saved me from the wrongs of the world. Grinning with a new determination, though with a broken heart, I curled in a ball and fell asleep.

(Normal POV)

Sesshomaru heard Rin's labored breathing and knew that she had fallen asleep. His eyes narrowed and he cursed himself. He had taken every measure to make sure such a disaster would not happen. At any rate, if Rin had been able to sleep, she apparently had come to the conclusion that her illusion of 'love' was not the type of passionate love between two mates. He was hoping that, anyway. Satisfied, he closed his eyes, deciding it was time for sleep himself, no matter how light it was.

Fin 

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DIS: Well, well, I am surprised! It came out pretty well, did it not? It didn't hold as much drama as I would have liked and not as much dialogue, either. Sorry if it was a bit boring to you people. This is actually the first Sesshomaru/Rin father/daughter relationship. In Sesshomaru's part, anyway. So, please review and tell me how you liked it! If it sucked, be blunt about it, especially if you think there are things that need to be worked on. Ciao!


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